Have you ever heard of the concept “fantasy self”? It’s something that’s been playing on my mind a lot recently as my personal style boundaries shift and evolve in my role as a new mum. Previously, I never would have given it a second thought. If I saw something I liked – presuming it was in line with my style – I would think nothing of buying it. Only recently have I started to think about who I’m shopping for. Is it me, or is it my fantasy self?
Wearing Lola Rae top (sold out but this is a similar affordable style); Madewell skinny jeans*; Everlane 40 hour flats*; The Curated mock croc leather bag*; Nyssa necklace* (10% off with JAMIELEE10)
Aside from my daily 5K walks, I’m not really leaving the house much, but I wanted to feel a little fancy yesterday. The easiest answer was to reach for this square necked top, which I love for its instant ability to jazz up a simple pair of jeans. While the sleeves have a tendency to slip off the shoulders due to the wide square cut of the neckline, you can’t deny that the “exposed” design of the top has a flattering effect.
I want to expand on the topic of fantasy self in an upcoming video, so I’m not going to delve into it too much just yet. But some of the items I’ve included in this month-long capsule wardrobe have definitely made me think twice. Like the silk skirt I included from Marle, which I just so happen to be wearing at this very moment. As beautiful as it is, it’s not really practical for a mum who constantly risks being spat up on (RIP jeans the day they’ve come out of the wash – always). Or the fitted square necked top I’m wearing above, which doesn’t work with any of my nursing bras.
Back when I was living in Wellington, my focus was on fancy dresses. Anything worthy of a special occasion, despite the fact that the actuality of wearing them was a rare occurrence. At the time, I was shopping for my fantasy self; the one who led a Carrie Bradshaw-esque lifestyle attending glamorous parties and going to cocktail bars with friends. My real life? Involved working for an MP, and spending most weekends wrapped up in a video game.
Just like my real self, my fantasy self has evolved over time. For me the struggle is discerning between them, and not letting my fantasy self get in the way when budgeting for new wardrobe additions.
Has your fantasy self driven any impractical purchases (for your closet or otherwise)?
My fantasy self gets in the way of real life quite often! It’s why I keep buying sequins and satin. Sigh.
I came across the concept of “fantasy self” during a minimalism/intentional living video, where the YouTuber was saying the best way to cut down on purchases was to really consider if you were buying the items for your real self or fantasy self. It struck a chord with me because I often found myself buying stuff (more than clothes – e.g. sewing supplies, art supplies) for my fantasy self that made time to do crafts and art projects, when in reality I was too exhausted from working a 9 to 5 and my other commitments that I didn’t actually do any art projects haha 🙁 But in lockdown life, that’s slowly changed!
Looking forward to watching your fantasy self video when it’s uploaded 🙂 (I can’t see it on your YouTube yet)
x Michelle / michalogy
That is actually a very good thought.
I tend to go all Carrie-d out too and get some beautiful shoes and dresses while in reality I work at home and we rarely go to any fancy places despite living in LA.
Lately, I decided to splurge on bags and comfy shoes (designer sneakers) to keep me away from the next useless dress I might buy 🙁
Also, damn Carrie Bradshaw and the series for the idea that you can actually go around the city looking like her all the time 🙁