Reframing my shopping mindset around special occasions and milestones

Over the weekend, I celebrated my 32nd birthday. An occasion I’d usually mark with some kind of gift. Treat yourself, right? It’s only natural; the one day of the year dedicated to you. Combined with the fact that January and February have consistently been months where I’ve shopped in excess as a response to dealing with some difficult emotions which emerge during this time, and you’ve got a recipe where I have almost always felt like I’ve been set up to fail. But for 2020, I really wanted to reframe my shopping mindset around special occasions and milestones. While I love the idea of celebrating those occasions, it occurred to me how unhealthy it is to use them as an excuse to buy something new.

Wearing Lune Resort dress (mini tea rose version here), Vince Camuto sandals, Missoma bracelet

In part, it’s a tactic I wanted to use to try and shift away from emotional shopping. One of my 2020 style resolutions was to curb my emotional shopping habit. After careful consideration, it occurred to me that by marking a special occasion with a “gift” to myself, I was indulging this behaviour. While I’m not personally doing a “low-buy” for 2020, I wanted to be more intentional about the items I do purchase. Granted, I’m only a month into trying to re-shape these habits, but I wanted to share three strategies that I found useful to shift away from that “shopping mentality” and indulging in emotional shopping habits ahead of my birthday.

Ask yourself “Why”?

Why do you want to buy XXXX? What’s the motivation behind the purchase? How much value will it add to your closet, or to your life? Trying to pinpoint exactly why I’m buying things overall has been a useful tool to remind myself to buy intentionally and with purpose.

Fashion should be fun, but if you’ve ever been in an emotional shopping spiral, you’ll know how detrimental that kind of thinking can be to your mindset (and your bank balance). There’s been a few occasions this past month where I’ve felt a rush to buy something new. It’s always been during those low points when I’m trying to contain difficult feelings. In the moment, it can be hard to recognise it as a panacea to an emotional struggle, or that you’re justifying the purchase due to a special occasion. Each time, I’ve taken that opportunity before “checking out” to step back and assess my why. Safe to say, it’s saved me from using those excuses to buy a number of things that I didn’t actually need or want.

Replace objects with experiences

Instead of marking a special occasion with a new “thing”, how about replacing that desire with an enriching experience. For my birthday this year, I put this focus on doing things, rather than buying things. We went out for brunch, went for a swim, had a lovely meal out; and, I’ve got a massage booked in for Tuesday.

These experiences feel special in and of themselves, and are a different way to indulge in a treat or serve as a reward. As someone who openly has had issues containing their emotional shopping habits in the past, this has felt a lot healthier than dropping a few hundred dollars on a new sweater I probably didn’t need.

You can still treat yourself

I’ve made a running wishlist on my phone, of items I’d like to add to my wardrobe this year. It’s a mix of specific items – generally more expensive, investment purchases – and general descriptions for pieces that I feel are missing from my wardrobe. It’s a way to help keep myself on track with my style manifesto for the year. Plus it serves as a reminder of the special items I’d like to buy.

The key here is to buy these things as and when I can; that is, when they’re available, at a price which is within my budget, and in the colour I desire. This removes the temptation to link it to a special occasion, such as a birthday or hitting a big work or life milestone (like having a baby!).

My next big purchase that I’m planning to make soon is a vintage Chanel classic flap bag. It’s one of the few items on my forever wishlist that I’ve wanted for years. Not to mention it’s literally a classic, and I can see how it would add to my personal style. This particular purchase is one I’ve considered over a long period of time, and I’ve made a point of saving up, so that I can finally invest in one when the opportunity arises.

I’m sure it’ll take me some time to perfect the ins and outs of changing my shopping mindset. Habits take a long time to form, and I’m still vulnerable to making the odd impulse buy. Plus, my biggest indulgence would have to be pre-loved fashion; it’s why I can never keep The Real Real app on my phone for long – I end up wanting everything. And unlike new purchases, I’ve been fairly relaxed about how I approach buying pre-loved. Again, my 30 day shopping rule applies, and I try to stick to archival pieces that I’ve been hunting down for some years.

Remember, it’s okay to slip up

Finally, I wanted to reinforce that it’s okay if you slip up. Like you, I’m a constant work-in-progress. Life experiences, circumstances, and outside forces contribute to our changing needs, desires and habits daily. I still buy things just because, and I know I’m not alone. The key thing here is being aware of when you make those decisions, and feeling at ease with your choice. There’s no right or wrong way, only what’s best for you.